Nerves

Gaaaaaaah (yes that is a word, maybe I should write up a specialized dictionary just for this blog so that everyone will know what I'm talking about or something....) anyway where was I? That's right!
Gaaaaaaaaah, so when I was a kid I had this disgusting habit of biting my nails, so I never had the pretty nails like all the other girls in my school, but that never really bugged me or anything. The only thing that was a problem for me was that I had the ugliest hands a girl can ever have. There's like no fat on them at all, which some may consider a good thing but alas I do not. The lack of mentioned fat means that since I seem to have abnormally huge knuckles from The Thing or something like that, my fingers are just not pretty and look misshapen, it sucks. My semi-supportive friends in this matter have told me that it's not really that bad, but then I point out to myself that they all have normal human hands and not something out of the Sci-fi channel (the old one back when it was a real world and not "syfy" seriously what the hell is up with that). Anyway back to the nail biting thing. Back then when it was only my nails/hands that were ugly I didn't really let it bother me if I could help it, but then when I finally convined my parents that I was blind, I got glasses. And then a year or so after that I got braces. And when you add bad hands to glasses, to braces, and then add it all to the unfortunate boyish habits I had had which meant a bad haircut and seriously untamed eyebrows. Yeah NOT a good combination. Thankfully starting around the end of middle school I started making a change. I couldn't do anything about the braces (or I guess it was pre-braces at the point since the real ones didn't come until the summer before high school started for me) but I could get contacts. And with the contacts came eyebrow maintenance. Then it was actually doing something to my hair, which meant that I let it start to look like a girl's and stopped dying it unfortunate shades of blond (seriously I dyed it like 6 different shades at the same time in different places, I thought it was a cool "motley" look, needless to say I didn't have to dress up for Halloween).
And finally after that I discovered fashion, or at least sort of, I still have days like yesterday for example when I just throw anything on, I don't even bother to see what it is. And thankfully not long after that it was makeup. Now of course, since I have a sense of my type of style, people think I'm a darker person, but I assure you non-existent readers, I'm actually a perky and amazingly fun person. I just wear a lot of black eyemakeup and only tend to wear black, gray, and occasionally white (when mixed with black or gray) clothes, jackets, or shoes. Oh and I dye my boring brown hair (that used to be a cool red but sadly the lack of sun had ruined that for me) blackish, it's really just a very dark brown but I say black because I'm just that kind of person.
Anyway sort of back on topic, not really I'm trying to talk about my nails, but I have to get through this first so I can get to my point. Thankfully the day before my picture for sophomore year I got my braces off (YAY) and even though they really hurt, my teeth were nice and straight for what was my first good school picture since I was a little girl who might as well have been a doll since my mom liked dressing me up so much (I'm talking like 3-7, because 7 was when I finally decided to start wearing what I wanted to and then came the tomboy, and then all the broken bones and unfortunately placed scars started to appear). The only good thing about those god awful pieces of metal was that they made it impossible for me to bite my nails at all, and so my habit was broken for me, my willpower had nothing to do with it. And so since then I have been pretty cool with how I look and I liked having regular girl nails, the only good part about my hands, despite the fact that I can't paint them since food health laws forbid me to wear nail polish and deal with food at the same time.
But then the last month or so happened. Stress started to kick in, my grades started to matter, I had to come to terms with the fact that my senior project isn't going anywhere so I should really get going on ideas for it. So before I knew it, I was biting my nails again, and not like before, now I am biting them down to the quick, and it HURTS dude. I mean ouch, my poor fingertips are all red and painful and it hurts to touch stuff, and even type (but I put the good of maybe two uninterested readers above my own pain), and to make matters worse today I did my usual drop-my-backpack-off-onto-one-arm-and-then-put-it-on-the-ground thing. The result of that was I accidentally let my little pinkie finger get stuck in the strap on the way down and one little defintie crack later, I had a broken pinkie finger. And since those finger cast things are a joke I just wrapped it with about 10 band-aides (which hurt like a bitch just so you know, since I decided to do it in a moving car at the time). So YEAH, not a good day for the hands...
Oh well I have most definitely done worse.... a LOT worse, but trust me you don't want to hear about all the incredibly stupid things I have done to my poor body (ok that sounded a liiiiittle wrong).
But now I have to go because, well to tell the truth my fingers are really starting to hurt, and what I said earlier about putting the good of the readers above my own pain, right now I take it back. I need ice, and I need some Stargate and Off the Map therapy. Why do homework when you really don't want to? See, my logic is undeniable and you know it.
By the way, if I have to add Off the Map to my list of unjustly canceled shows I may have to go strangle a certain NBC executive...
Ok ta ta for now, I hope my completely annoying and useless to the world story provided at least SOME temporary entertainment for you.
Love Lys.
P.S. I know I didn't do that sign off correctly but to be honest I don't care =), anyway, I'm a junior in high school, but as a sign that the techno age is really starting to break down some fundamentals of education, I never write letters by HAND so I just learned today that you're supposed to put the whole "Sincerely, John" thing waaaaay over to the right at the end of the letter. Now how many of you people who are my age knew that? Because I was like, "go figure?"
Ok now I'm leaving... OW MY FINGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!